위하여

 

a little nervous and unsure: an ep album of a collection of me's over time comes out tomorrow.  i dont know what will come of it or if it will mean i can write new songs again, but am appreciative of all the things that inspire(d) me, even if for a fleeting second of a day.  wish i could hold onto the white lights i think of lining the streets--the fireflies of the cities--when i feel this way.  wish i could take the cobalt skies of concert nights in california and keep them in my mind's eye a little longer...

In the middle of June

 

29 degrees, a normal Sunday full of lazy goodness, oversized yellow Haruko Haruhara t-shirts and definitely, 5 minute pauses between sentences as brain pathways bump and collide. All thoughts are instantly wiped out by the blue outside my window. words. the moment you feel you are about to discover something about a particular combination of words--some sort of clarity in the nebula of all things--Ah! so close...

And here for some garbledegook, because after much thought, it is, and forever will be, a jumble: 

youth's conversational cadences, (what about them, and what about the you's in them), hearing the voice of the ideal in everything, equilibrium cleanse (so it happened just now), retracing steps to the emotional doors to reopen,  should really plant this basil. 28 degrees, a little damp on a normal Sunday, (come on, be a little less normal), glad to be able to have a full day of meaningless marination. 

Pinocchio's Tree

Struck by a certain feeling that I want to capture in words, but it wants to escape...want to hold on...to figure out what it is. Am transported to moments from my childhood--of getting attached to a tree that appears in Pinocchio and feeling so sad that it disappeared, when it wasn't even an essential part of the film--of the little things that appear to you, touch your heart, then disappear.  Do you ever feel that everything matters just a tad too much...and you wish they didn't because you feel your heart breaking into a million pieces over these little things.  Haven't figured out what this feeling is...was hoping writing would get closer to something: love the things you love as dearly as you can.