지뿡땡

a small note:

when i walk around, i go over the thai alphabet aloud (if no one is around, but silently otherwise), and i have chuckled to myself saying phrases because of the sing-song-y nature of the language.  (thought i would get stuck singing words for everything) i have yet to fully understand all the tones and inflections, but today i was thinking that i am highly conscious of the insides of my mouth when i practice saying some of the words.  it almost feels like i'm juggling invisible marbles in my mouth and making little pockets of space and rearranging them so that the sounds can travel past these imaginary obstructions.  i love it!

การเปลี่ยนแปลง

I am just going to put this word here (I googled the word transition, and although I can recognize the consonants, I am not too quick to read with the vowels and the right tones yet.) Just a random thought, but I have been spending quite a bit of time just listening to my Thai friends speak, and usually I cannot understand a single word although I hear certain repeating sounds and have learned what may possibly be negations, but I have no idea what verb is being negated. I wonder if they think I'm really weird that I stay silent for long periods of time to just listen. I cannot really put into words why I feel so drawn to this language and the sounds.  I am wondering at this very moment if there will ever be a moment where the words cease to be just purely sounds, and I cross the boundary into a territory where I cannot hear the sounds anymore---when I think of what Korean sounds like, I can't really say---and the thoughts convey themselves first before the sounds.  I wonder if I will be a little sad when this transition happens.  I hope that when I do become more familiar with the language, and I can read more quickly, I will look at the title I gave to this post and think: "wow that is a stupid title."

Lately

 ฉันมาทำอะไรที่นี่

Walking at night

 In a city, the stars fall from the sky and litter the streets in the form of headlights and streetlights.  Our bodies stay cold and unburnt.  The heavens are starless--a grey expanse with no limits.  The stars would have provided context for distance.  But there is no distance. Fuck. We deserve the best--"best" requiring a whole lifetime to define. 

Sleep

 

 Lost and alone in Seoul, I thought to find myself lost again in a digital world--was comfortable with this idea.  This isn't going to be a long note. Just...how to reflect on the meditative nature of trying to write Thai script.  What does it feel like for me? Like tracing the raindrops on a windowpane as they fall naturally. I have been falling asleep to the murmurs of spoken Thai.  I've never slept so well.