There is a Francis Ford Coppola film I really liked in high school called Rumblefish. Then, I think I liked beta fish--you know---that they fight only in captivity being so poetic and all. Pathos resonates from the film.
so it is all about rumblefish...maybe. (insert ten minute pause here as I stare at the screen, knowing what to say but it looks like a blob and to write, my pencil is a carrot).
this is a blog..(insert another ten minute pause...a sigh) and i didn't want to post on twitter. because I'd know that more people would chance to see it. the irony. here i write for public something i don't want to publicize. but i think it's because i want to scream and this apartment in Gangnam has walls that are too thin. i wonder how many people behind thin walls must be wishing the same thing...
the other day, it was not this; i walked around Sinsa, and Plaid's White's Dream from the Tekkonkinkreet soundtrack on repeat. Looked at the moon and tweeted some nonsensical babble about how the moon is always there. But what I felt then was complete and utter gratitude---that even when things were going to shit, I could look up at the night sky and see something so beautiful and seemingly serene.
In any case, I suppose the solution to this want for tears is just to go outside and look at the moon again and maybe cry a little... I would like to call my mom or my brother..but i know they'd just worry more. Rumblefish. rumblefish.
Interlude.
went outside and the moon was not there. or sleeping with a grey blanket. wanted to wake it, but didn't want to seem so needy. so what now? back to the mantra --- the moon within, the moon within?
rumblefish.
a scream was here.
so it is all about rumblefish...maybe. (insert ten minute pause here as I stare at the screen, knowing what to say but it looks like a blob and to write, my pencil is a carrot).
this is a blog..(insert another ten minute pause...a sigh) and i didn't want to post on twitter. because I'd know that more people would chance to see it. the irony. here i write for public something i don't want to publicize. but i think it's because i want to scream and this apartment in Gangnam has walls that are too thin. i wonder how many people behind thin walls must be wishing the same thing...
the other day, it was not this; i walked around Sinsa, and Plaid's White's Dream from the Tekkonkinkreet soundtrack on repeat. Looked at the moon and tweeted some nonsensical babble about how the moon is always there. But what I felt then was complete and utter gratitude---that even when things were going to shit, I could look up at the night sky and see something so beautiful and seemingly serene.
In any case, I suppose the solution to this want for tears is just to go outside and look at the moon again and maybe cry a little... I would like to call my mom or my brother..but i know they'd just worry more. Rumblefish. rumblefish.
Interlude.
went outside and the moon was not there. or sleeping with a grey blanket. wanted to wake it, but didn't want to seem so needy. so what now? back to the mantra --- the moon within, the moon within?
rumblefish.
a scream was here.
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